the what’s next club: MIDLIFE INSPIRATION FOR WOMEN OVER 40

Hi, I’m Cookie Taylor

creator of The What’s Next Club, helping women over 40 reconnect with themselves and create a life that’s richer, happier and more fulfilling.

HERE'S MY STORY

Why I created The What’s Next Club

To help others

I hate the thought of people sitting at home not knowing which way to turn, like I did for so long. I want to help women to turn their lives around and hope my experience will help them to see its possible.

What this page is about

My story from broken to balanced

I share my story in brief, how I hit rock bottom and the experiences that inspired The What’s Next Club and my passion for helping women over 40 embrace their next chapter with confidence.

At 16 I found myself woefully ill-prepared for the outside world but eager to explore it.

I left home at the earliest opportunity but reluctantly went through college and university, both of which I loathed.

The education system suffocated my curious nature; I wanted to explore my own thoughts, not those of supposed experts who’d learned what to think during their own education.

I found the work easy but the whole thing pointless. I didn’t want to be there, didn’t fit in and didn’t feel the need to bother faking it.

Gradually I withdrew and found myself unable to attend lectures at all. I had no idea that I was suffering from social anxiety, low self-worth and panic attacks. I just knew I was finding it increasingly difficult to attend classes.

It was very confusing to feel my mind and body dragging me further away from the person I thought I was supposed to be.

Outside of university I was confident, enthusiastic and responsible; inside university I was depressed, lazy and bored and had no idea why I felt so awkward in my own skin.

Heading down a dangerous path

After university I threw myself into a chaotic and unconventional life for the next 20-odd years. I moved town a lot, travelled a lot, drank a lot and ate a lot. I took huge risks and could never settle down; I was desperate for approval and, although I enjoyed life on the surface, I forever felt the need to move on.

Fast forward a decade and a half and I was gaining weight, addicted to food and alcohol and suffering from severe depression whilst putting on a smile to the outside world.

Two life-changing events

What happened

Life stopped abruptly following two life-threatening experiences that took place within the space of a year: being held hostage by a Nigerian man during an armed robbery and being abandoned in a remote part of South Africa by a friend.

The fallout

These two experiences pushed me over the edge and left me with severe PTSD, depression, agoraphobia and anxiety. I had next to no emotional support and descended into the first of a handful of debilitating nervous breakdowns.

The battle

I lived in fight-or-flight mode for the next decade, suffering from crippling anxiety, panic attacks, addiction and low self-esteem. I was in mental anguish, so I sat and ate crap, drank wine to numb my thoughts and hid myself away from the world.

Meeting my soul mate

As my psychological state declined so my weight increased.

Despite that I worked hard to pull myself together over the next decade or so. I eventually qualified as a life coach and performance coach, joined a photography club and met Dave.

We moved to the south coast a couple of years later and launched a wedding photography business together.

I became a Master Photographer and began to build an excellent reputation for my wedding & portrait photography.

I took on a few pro bono life coaching clients and began to help people overcome their own fears.

We bought a place in the sun, splashed out on a sports car, lived in some impressive apartments and felt pretty pleased with how well we were doing.

Hitting rock bottom

All that was to change, however, when we lost everything in the fallout of the 2008 recession.

We clung on as best we could but after a few years ran out of money and found ourselves living in a tent in my parents’ field for a few months.

That was fine in itself but being at my childhood home wasn’t ideal and my confidence spiralled downwards.

I began to look for free alternatives to renting and soon discovered house sitting. Within a couple of days I’d found us a 6-month assignment that was to start the following week.

We moved in and welcomed having breathing space, no bills and few responsibilities. From that moment I put time into finding house sit after house sit and managed to keep a free roof above our heads for the next eight years, during which time we downsized our belongings by 95% and vowed never again to waste money on rent or things we didn’t need.

Making dreams happen

With freedom came time to focus on health and weight loss and with that came a growth in confidence. I started a YouTube channel that grew to over 31,000 subscribers and began to actively pursue my dreams.

I voyaged to the world’s most remote inhabited island, Tristan da Cunha, set foot on Antarctica and trekked to Everest Base Camp twice (failed twice!). I even flew to Iceland to attempt a solo 1000-miles walk; I failed, of course – but I had the guts to try.

All-about-Cookie-Taylor-Creator-of-The-40-Plus-Collective

The rollercoaster of life

Things ticked along nicely but when Dave got diagnosed with an aggressive bladder cancer in 2016 I lost all interest in our photography business. My stress levels rose to the point of my suffering a very serious mental breakdown and in the meantime Dave admitted to finding his job in I.T increasingly unfulfilling.

In addition, we’d gained a lot of weight between us and felt that we were growing apart emotionally. We were at a turning point and the only thing we were certain of is that we wanted to move into our future together. Beyond that, we didn’t much care so long as we were happy, healthy and free.

I encouraged Dave to jack in his job the next day and, after a month off, we launched an online web-design business. Minimal outgoings meant we could build a modest passive income whilst allowing the photography to fizzle out – and that way we freed up time to actually live life together.

We took a massive pay cut and lived well below the poverty line of one person but we had less ties and were now free to house sit anywhere in the country. Dave’s cancer was removed and he made a full recovery over the coming year.

An unexpected opportunity

When the plandemic was thrust upon us in 2019 and most of our house-sit bookings were forced to cancel, we again found ourselves with nowhere to live.

We moved back into a tent at my parents’ for a few months and talked about the possibility of owning our own home. It was pretty clear: there was no way we could afford to rent a place, let alone buy one.

At what was exactly the right moment, Dave received a surprise inheritance from a distant relative and we used some of it to buy a van. Over the next few months we converted it into a cosy little home on wheels.

A small home with big potential

We moved in and immediately felt more connected to the outdoors. No longer having to rely on house sits to keep a roof above our heads, we realised we had even less ties and responsibilities, so we hit the road and never looked back.

We picked up web design work wherever we happened to be, which gave us a modest passive income to cover our basic needs.

Dave used some of the inheritance money to qualify as a Class 1 HGV driver and started truck driving. Soon after, we’d saved enough for me to take the plunge and qualify as a Class 1 HGV driver too.

“Home isn’t a place anymore, it’s wherever I park, wake up to a new view and remember that life was meant to be lived, not endured.”

What changed everything?

Carnivore-ish Diet

My childhood dream was to voyage to Antarctica, Iceland and Tristan da Cunha, and to lay eyes on Mount Everest – I’ve been lucky enough to do all four.

Dry Fasting

I’ve been permanently on the move for over a decade, first home & pet-sitting full-time and now living in a converted van. It suits my permanently itchy feet!

Walking & Tai Chi

I’m happiest in remote, rural places, filled with green fields, trees, hills or mountains. I rarely visit large towns or cities but love olde-world villages and buildings.

A new road ahead

I’ve recently spent the most distressing few years of my life dealing with past traumas head on but it’s been a necessary process and I’m just about out of the other side.

The only thing left to tackle now is my addiction to self-sabotage, self-doubt and worrying what other people think.

I’ve listened to my body carefully over the past few years; it’s led me towards time-restricted eating, a carnivore-ish diet and dry fasting.

I wouldn’t say I’m out of the sugar trap yet but my habits are changing gradually and I no longer think about junk food and alcohol every minute of the day.

I feel more balanced, calm and in control and don’t seem to need the sugar fix so often. But when I fall off the wagon, I fall hard and can take weeks, or even months, to get back on it.

I’m learning how to handle stress better overall. My diet and lifestyle is helping me to feel more ‘normal’, both mentally and physically and I’m confident the weight will continue to come off as my body and mind relax.

I’ve decided to share my progress online in the hope that my experience might be of help to others along the way.

That’s really why I’ve founded The What’s Next Club: to create a place where we can all help and support each other as we navigate the challenges of mid-life and beyond.

If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed or wondering whether your best years are behind you, I want you to know this: they aren’t.

I hope my story reminds you that no matter how difficult life has been, you can still write a different ending.